As you and your spouse get divorced, there is one thing that both of you agree on: You want to focus on the children. You want to put them first. You want to make child-centered decisions and give them the best possible life.
This is a terrific outlook, and there are multiple tactics you can use to make it possible. Today, let’s take a look at a very child-focused custody option that is known as “nesting.”
The standard setup
First, think about the traditional setup for custody. If you share custody, that means the children live with you some of the time and with your ex-spouse some of the time. Maybe they live with you during the school week and with your ex on the weekends. Maybe you trade off every other week.
The specifics aren’t as important for this discussion as simply considering what it means for the children. They may feel like this setup, though it keeps both parents involved, does not give them stability. They don’t feel like they have a “real” home. They deal with inconveniences like not having their toys at both houses and spending a lot of time in the car.
How nesting is different
If you decide to try out nesting, the difference is dramatic. The children never move. They stay in the same home. Preferably, this is just the family home that you owned before the divorce. You don’t sell it.
The custody schedule still tells you whose turn it is to have the children, and that adult “moves” into the house for the duration. The other adult moves out and lives at a different home or apartment until it is their turn again. Then you trade places.
Kids love it
Children love this setup. They don’t have to move. They always have their own rooms, their toys and a familiar setting. It feels stable. It can make divorce easier on them. It’s definitely a child-focused option.
Adults, however, may have some issues to deal with. Who owns the house? Who pays the bills? Can you get along with your ex enough to share the home? Where do you live when your ex is at the house? Where do they live when you’re with the kids?
These are just a few of the questions you need to ask. This is a unique setup and it does not work for everyone.
What it does, though, is that it shows you just how many options you have and how much you need to consider. Divorce can get complicated, even when you have the same goal — providing for your children. Be sure you understand exactly what steps you need to take.